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Dating is, of course, based on attraction. At least attraction is where it begins. If attraction is where it ends, dating and relationships can lead to disaster.

For singles, the problem comes up when we decide that a strong attraction to someone means it is a good fit, or even worse, “meant to be.”

When we focus too much on attraction alone, it is incredibly easy to miss the red flags that are telling us this might not be a good idea.

Infatuation is such a powerful force

Dating is full of pitfalls and traps. Did you know that having fun together and getting along well does not necessarily predict a successful relationship? Read on to discover how to avoid The Compatibility Trap and what to do instead.

Singles fall into this trap very easily, because it is easy to assume that if you get along well and have fun together then you are compatible and a good fit for a long term committed relationship.

The problem in this trap is there is a huge difference between a recreational and fun-focused relationship and a serious this is forever long term committed relationship.

Dating equals love, and love is all you need, is a bad and false equation.

The Beatles sang “all you need is love.” And they were wrong. Read on to discover how to avoid The Love Trap and what to do instead.

Singles make one of the biggest dating and relationship mistakes when they interpret attraction, infatuation, and sex as love.

“If it feels good, it must be Love.” “Love is all you need.” “Love conquers all.” And other false and dangerous sayings.

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Dating successfully requires four skills. The four essential skills for singles are scouting, sorting, screening and testing.

Scouting - Scouting is simply looking out into the world and looking for people that you are attracted to. Other people such as friends and family can do scouting for you as well. Some people you notice will not even be considered, others may require further investigation, which leads to…….

Sorting - Sorting is discarding those you automatically know will not be a candidate, and then pursuing further those that might be a possible match for you.

Q: Dating is starting to stink for me! I heard you speak on relationships and have a question for you. How do you go about finding someone? I’m sick of the bar scene, and don’t want to fool with the online dating services. You got any ideas for me?

A: Great question, and I believe I can offer you some tips and tools for finding the love of your life.

Dating in today’s world

You will need to do a little bit of homework first, but it will not be graded! One of the best ways to find what you are looking for is to know what you are looking for.

Dating is hard enough for singles when you know who you are and what you want. How in world can you find the person who is right for you when you do not know who you are or what you want?

Know who you are

If you do not know who you are, you will not be able to find the best match for you. You will wind up taking whatever you can get and get caught in the scarcity trap.

Ask yourself lots of questions, such as:

Dating is one of the biggest sources of struggle for singles. One of the struggles is that people will put on a front in the beginning of a relationship, and we want so badly to believe it is for real.

The Virtual Reality Trap

The virtual reality trap is wanting to believe that the image this new person is putting off is the real person.

Are you familiar with the computer slang “WYSIWYG.” It stands for “What You See Is What You Get.”

Signs and Symptoms

• Believing that “what you see is what you get.”

Dating is hard work for some singles. Doing it “The American Way” makes it even harder work for some. In our culture we are so prone to trying to go it alone because we falsely believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness.

The Lone Ranger Trap

In the dating world we call this The Lone Ranger Trap, the commitment to doing it yourself and going it alone.

Signs and Symptoms